Warning: MAJOR spoilers for Deadpool 2 below! I'm serious!
F*ck yeah! Deadpool 2 is finally here, and we're helping you unwind from all the madness contained within. To answer the biggest and most pressing question, Celine Dion does not make an appearance. But at least we can all revel in the glory of Miss Zazie Beetz, aka the very lucky Domino, and the punch-line-a-minute man himself, Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds). By the time the movie ends, it's hard not to be on the edge of your seat from all the action, with tears in your eyes from all the jokes. But the fun doesn't stop there. In fact, a lot goes down once the credits start to roll.
Yep, there's a scene that comes with the credits! Actually, there's a whole series of scenes that play out. To properly address it, we need to set up just a bit of backstory about the grisly Cable, aka Josh Brolin. (He's 100 percent zaddy in the movie, just saying.) Cable is actually from the future, and in a Terminator-esque plot line, he's trying to kill the younger version of a future threat. He's not exactly a villain per se, but I digress. Anyway, Cable has a fun little gadget that enables him to travel through time, but there's a catch: it only has two charges in it. Basically, Cable only has enough juice to make one trip to the past and one trip back to the time from which he came. We'll spare the full spoiler rundown of everything involving his tiny time machine, but let's just say he's all out of juice by the end of the movie.
In the postcredits scene, the cutest couple in Deadpool 2 (aka Negasonic Teenage Warhead and her girlfriend, Yukio) are trying to fix this little time device. Since they're geniuses, they actually figure it out, and Deadpool's like, "Thanks, guys! Peace!" He then proceeds to travel back in time so he can "fix" a bunch of messed-up things in the X-Men universe's very convoluted timeline.
First things first: time to save his dead girlfriend, Vanessa. He goes back to the moment she gets shot and puts a cream cheese spreader right through the bad guy's head before he can pull the trigger. Weirdly, you would think this would undo all the events that happen in Deadpool 2, but let's just pretend everything's fine until we hear otherwise. Naturally, Deadpool also wants to undo an egregious wrong from earlier in the film: he tries to stop his X-Force members from dying! Specifically, he saves Peter, whom we meet in the trailers. Peter says he saw the ad for X-Force and wanted to be in on the fun. He doesn't have any powers, and he dies when the acid-spitting Zeitgest (Bill Skarsgard) vomits all over him. In this "tweak," Deadpool just tells Peter to go home, right before said vomit death would occur. Deadpool also goes back to the very first cinematic appearance of the character. No, it wasn't in 2016's Deadpool. The antihero actually appears in 2009's X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The more current Deadpool literally just straight-up murders him and gives a nod to his old pal Wolverine. And last but not least, it wouldn't be a Deadpool movie without an insult for Ryan Reynolds's infamous superhero flop: Green Lantern. Deadpool teleports to the moment Ryan Reynolds gets the script for the movie. The "actor" is like, "Wow, I've finally made it!" . . . and then Deadpool shoots him in the back of the head. Yep. In the Deadpool universe, actor Ryan Reynolds is dead.Again, we're not exactly sure how to take this series of scenes. If it's all "canon," it would seriously mess up a lot of stuff that the film is trying to set up. But let's all laugh, try not to think about it too hard, and move on. Agreed?
