We may all secretly dream of sporting a rock as big as Kim Kardashian’s, but most of us know that there’s nothing more romantic than being a proposed to with a family heirloom. After all, when someone gets down on one knee and presents you with their mother’s or grandmother’s engagement ring, you know it means that they not only love you and want to spend their lives with you but also that you’ve truly been accepted into their family.
Perhaps that’s why one Reddit user is being slammed for complaining about her boyfriend proposing with his mother’s ring instead of getting her one that was shiny and brand-new.
“First I just want to say that I’m not the kind of person who demands expensive gifts, but we do gift each other a lot of things,” the 29-year-old wrote. “My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. We live together, and we have a four year-old daughter. I was waiting forever for him to propose. So I was really excited when my sister told me that my boyfriend asked her which kind of ring would suit me and he sent her some pics from Tiffany’s. I was super excited and hyped and I kind of guessed that he wanted to propose on our anniversary.”
He did propose on her anniversary, but he ended up going with a ring that had an enormous amount of sentimental value instead, and his explanation for why he chose it contains Nicholas Sparks-level romance.
“The day comes and I’m really excited. We went out for a romantic dinner, got back, and when we were watching a movie he suddenly got down on his knees and asked me if I wanted to marry him. I said yes and then he showed me the ring. It was not even a new one. It looked old and the stones looked average at best. When I asked him about that he told me that his mother gave him her ring. He told me that it had a great sentimental value since his father was the only man his mother ever truly loved and I’m the only woman he’ll ever love. His father is no more, and his mother gave it to him.”
Needless to say, she was not pleased, and he wasn’t happy with her reaction either.
“It’s all sweet and cheesy but it doesn’t look great. Also, I don’t want the beginning of my new life to start with a secondhand ring. When I told him this, he was very upset and told me that he never thought I was so materialistic and he just left. He’s not even answering any of my messages or calls. Was I wrong?”
The thread quickly went viral and the overwhelming response was “yes.”
“He explained to you that it was reminiscent of his parents’ marriage, one that he apparently felt was a marriage he wanted to emulate with you,” one user wrote. “He was trying to show you how much he loved you, and you boiled his love down to the value of a piece of metal and a rock.”
“Your so called ‘beginning of a new life’ happened somewhere between the decade you have already spent together and the birth of your child nearly half that time hence. A wedding, at this point, is more or less a just a ceremony—a symbolic one at that. And honestly a lot less so than the ring his mother blessed you with,” another user wrote. “If you cannot or will not see how deep a gift the ring truly is then perhaps you should do both of you a big favor by not only turning him down but also cut him loose so you can both find someone more in line with each other’s personal love language. If you can, then apologize and appreciate the fact that not only does he love you the way his parents love each other but that his mom feels comfortable making the same association.”
Some people thought the relationship could still be salvaged and there was a potential resolution that would satisfy both parties.
“You can get a display ring or work out buying something you want to show off, but the proposal is entirely sentimental. For you to rip that apart I can see why your (hopefully fiancé) is upset. Communicate with each other. Apologize. You can still fix this by working with each other,” one user wrote, to which the OP responded, “I told him I appreciated the sentimental value but I didn’t want to wear it and he was upset.”
But a lot of people simply slammed her, which also seems unfair, especially given that she later admitted that she had messed up “big time.”
Hopefully, these two can work through their issues and find some common ground. And, if not, it can always be worse. Just ask the bride who ended up reading her boyfriend’s cheating-related texts instead of vows at their wedding.
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