Even the most devoted married man or woman will get blindsided by a bout of white-hot lust that isn’t directed at his or her spouse every once and a while. (Hey, we’re only human.) But it’s something else entirely to fall head-over-heels in love with someone who didn’t stand at the altar with you.
If you’re struggling with your feelings—and a crush outside your marriage—we’re here to help. We’ve rounded up all of the signs that what you’re feeling is truly love—and not just a fleeting bout of carnal desire. So read on, and remember to tread carefully. And for more top-notch relationship advice, bone up on the 40 Old-Fashioned Relationship Tips That Still Apply Today.
1 You share every last detail about your life with them.
When you’re in love with someone, your natural instinct is to want to share every detail of your life with them. Normally this person is your significant other, but if your heart is with someone else, you might find that your confidante is no longer your partner, but a new pal whom you may or may not realize you’re falling for. And if this sounds like your life, maybe you should familiarize with the 15 Reasons You Actually Want an Open Relationship.
2 You make excuses for their flaws.
You might be well aware that the person you’re falling in love with is rude, unclean, or even a well-known player. But even so, you’ll defend their bad habits and character traits any time someone else brings them up in conversation. After all, part of loving someone is taking the bad with the good, and the only person who gets to criticize the person you love is you.
3 You constantly bring them up in conversation.
When someone is taking up a large chunk of real estate in your mind, they’re likely also going to come up often in conversation. Even if you’re talking to a friend about something as simple as the weather, you’ll find a way to weave an anecdote about this person in and make them relevant, just because they’re all you can think about. And if you’re ready to take the next step with the person you’re pining for, use these 40 Best Date Ideas If You’re Over 40.
4 You find ways to spend more time around them.
Nobody actually wants to spend extra time at work. So if you find yourself volunteering to stay late just because a certain someone is also working after hours, then you might have a little coworker crush on your hands.
5 You’re not afraid to open up to them.
Being vulnerable in front of someone is a sign that you feel comfortable around them. While many people hear the word “love” and think about sex and fun date nights, the best indication of true feelings is being willing to open your heart to someone.
