19 “The Secret to a Happy Marriage Is Compromise”
“Making concessions works well for nations or political parties that disagree, but not for couples,” Newbold says. “It’s like saying, ‘I’m willing to accept some disappointment and pain as long as the person I love most in this world suffers, too.’” Instead, you should be looking for “third alternatives.” “That’s when you each let go of your first idea and look together for a third option that makes both of you at least as happy as your first one made you. You get to give your partner in life the moon and the stars without becoming a doormat, and in the process of laying out the requirements for your third alternative, you learn so much about each other.”
